Daring To Be Totally Yourself

“Every time you are tempted to react in the same old way,
ask if you want to be a prisoner of the past or a pioneer of the future.” 
~Deepak Chopra

What does it really take to live from your authentic self? What does it take to dare to be who you are?

There’s nothing more attractive and inviting than someone who is confident in who they are and what they believe in.

Oladimeji Odunsi from Unsplash

There’s an elegance and ease about them. Better yet, when you can live that way, you can share that enthusiasm with others and life is more fulfilling.

Contrary to that is someone who doesn’t know him or herself well, someone who depends on other people’s opinions for validity, or self-worth and their identity. These types of people are unsure of their values and purpose.

If you have no idea who you are, it can be confusing and painful. With lots of judgment, denial, hiding-out and defending of yourself.

Can you identify with these situations?

The biggest problems arise when you look outside of yourself for gratification, praise, and identity. Everyone wants to feel good about themselves, and have deep, meaningful relationships and a purposeful life.

However, if you don’t really know yourself, it’s impossible for others to know you, or for you to know your true purpose.

Eddie Kraus from Unsplash

Letting Go Of The Past

I can totally relate to both of these scenarios. For most of my early life (birth-30) I was a very shy, quiet, young woman who did not speak up and sat in the back of the room in school. I was terrified of being seen and having to open up to and speak about myself. This was distressing for me when I was accepted to nursing school and was constantly being required to speak up and be seen.

I had no idea who I was. I was like a chameleon. I could change and adapt to whatever situation I found myself in. Being a quick adapter, was a survival skill that served me well to deal with the chaos and trauma of living in a home with an alcoholic father who died when I was 7 and a depressed mother.

Brene’ Brown author of Rising Strong says “when we deny our stories, they define us.” When we own our stories, we get to write a brave new ending. 

Finally, after years of sadness, depression, and self-denial of who I was. I decided to change my life and own my story. It took courage, faith and deep soul work to believe in myself and to choose to live the life God had given me and the life I really wanted to live. A life with purpose and meaning.

I had to be willing to let go of the woman I was to be the woman I was becoming.

The major key to self-love and joy is to know yourself at your deepest level of being and to remember your true spiritual, multidimensional nature.

Svetlana Pochotun from Unsplash

This leads to a certain steadiness in life. Unlike being dependent on outside influences, you’re guided by your inner truth. This gives you strength for all that life has to offer. You’re able to be present, live with passion, and more fully experience the whole spectrum of emotions, from great joy to great sorrow, and still remain at peace.

Are you ready to be who you really are?

Gabriel Silverio from Unsplash

Here are four ways to honor yourself and embrace the power of being you. As you start to adopt them in your life, notice how your view of yourself and the world become brighter, more meaningful, and more mystical.

  1. Deepen your spiritual practice. A spiritual practice means taking time to look inward and experience your true nature. Examples of spiritual practices are meditation, prayer, yoga, being in nature, doing something you love, engaging in an art project, sitting in silence, or even immersing yourself in sound. It can be anything that inspires you to be, observe love, and feel.
  2. Be willing to dig deep into your beliefs and self-sabotaging behavior and emotions. Become aware of the recurrent thoughts about which you often think. Note how often you rehash a conversation that took place weeks or even years ago, or how often you imagine negative, fearful outcomes.
  3. Know and live your values and purpose. Take the time to determine clearly what you believe to be your most important values. What MUST be present in your life for you to feel good? Write 3 to 5 of them down and why they are important to you. Then, start to observe your thoughts. Take note of how you make decisions and take actions that are congruent with your values. Make your values your guide to action.
  4. Use your unique gifts and talents to help others. We are all one and at the same time each individual is unique and has a specific place in the universe. You have been given talents and skills that are unique to your journey, but you must relate to others to survive and thrive. When you clear your own misunderstanding about the truth of your existence, everyone benefits. you help us all.

Annie Spratt from Unsplash

Marianne Williamson in her book A Return to Love. Says,  “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.”

Are you Living Life Without Regrets?


Regrets, we all have them — things said or done; things left unsaid or undone. Paths that weren’t followed; opportunities missed due to fear or insecurity.

Research shows that a large number of people have reported it was not what they have done but “what they did not do” that was their deepest regrets.

According to Bronnie Ware, a former palliative care nurse who wrote the book, “The Top Five Regrets of the Dying,” based on her conversations with the dying, the biggest, most commonly cited regrets at the end of life are — beginning with the most common regret of all:

  • One of the most frequently cited regrets at the end of life is not having the courage to be true to oneself but rather doing what others expected.
  • Another regret was not having the courage to express one’s feelings and emotions to people they loved or cared for deeply.
  • Other common regrets include: working too much, not staying in touch with friends, and taking life too seriously and allowing worries to diminish happiness.
  • Many men, at the end of life, say they regret missing out on family time because of excessive work.

Unfortunately, many people find out too late that happiness is an inside job—a choice, not a side effect of living any particular kind of life, and regret taking life too seriously and allowing worries to diminish their happiness.

What Do You Regret?

I don’t regret much that I have done in life. If I had not done what I did I don’t think I would have experienced all the wonderful opportunities and adventures in life that I did. I didn’t take the safe path of a secure job for most of my life. As a small business entrepreneur, your life is always up and down and you can find yourself living on the edge way too often.

For me, it is like what most people say it is not what I did it is what I did not do that I regret. I would still like to live in California by the ocean and to have a relationship with the right divine love partner for me. Fortunately, I can still work on those desires.

Here are a few suggestions that help to eliminate issues that trigger regret:

  • First and foremost, it is critical to heal your core wounds and to work on manifesting your life purpose. To me, this is the essential healing work for your life that is necessary so you can live a meaning life. It is very important to try and honor at least some of your dreams and passions along the way.
  • Secondly, simplify your lifestyle and making conscious choices along the way, it is possible to not need the income that you think you do so you don’t have to work so much.
  • Thirdly, live more in the moment. Eckhart Tolle writes that “Living In The Now” is a major component of happiness, and a significant way to grow in gratitude, both of which also have an impact our health and longevity.

I believe Your Life Is Your Own, Live It the Way You Want.

The take-home message here is this: If you’re currently doing, or avoiding doing something you know you’d regret if you only had weeks left to live, change course now. Don’t wait years or decades. Eventually, you’ll run out of time and will be left holding a bag of regrets.

Your life is your own — you’re the only one who can live it successfully, so follow your dreams and passions, and let go of unnecessary baggage and false limitations. At the end of your life, you’ll realize you don’t care about what other people think of you nearly as much as you believe today, and — if you’re like most — you’ll come to the realization that happiness is, in fact, an ever-present choice.

What do you regret? Have you been able to let go of those past thoughts? Let me know.

Discover How to Live Your Life On Purpose

“Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one’s courage”. – Anais Nin

People who know their purpose, know who they are, where they are going, and why they are doing it.

They’re living life free from doubt and lack of clarity about where their life is going.

They know why they are on the planet and what their gifts and talents are. They are on a path that leads to success, meaning and happiness.

But for many of us, we’re stopped cold from fear and excuses, never knowing what our purpose is or how to discover how to begin living on purpose.

  • “I can’t make time for this. My family needs all my attention.”
  • “I’ll feel guilty honoring my own dreams and doing something for myself.”
  • “I should just make do with what I have in my life. Who am I to want more for my life?”
  • “People will think I’m crazy for doing this.”

If you are willing to discover how to live on purpose your intentions, your goals and your overall vision for your life will dramatically change. This is how I can help you.

Start by taking the Free Life Purpose Self-Assessment Quiz to get you started on your path to freedom.

The Top 3 Blogs For 2016

 

In looking back over 2016, I have written numerous blogs on life purpose, fully living, sabotage, perfection, meaningful work and many more. I have included resources and steps to help you make change and have answered your most pressing concerns about your fears, doubts, challenges, and deepest desires.

The key topics I see emerging from this list of the most widely read posts are:

  1. How to find and live your life purpose.
  2. How to deal with negative beliefs and thoughts.
  3. What is my calling?
  4. How to integrate creativity in my busy life?

Below are the top 3 most read posts in 2016. I am digging deeper this year in supporting people to take the chance to live more fully from their true authentic, courageous, wild self.

Are You Living Your One Previous Life?

Life today is clearly more stressful, complicated and unpredictable than it has ever been.

As a result, many of us are tired, worried, stressed and depleted of our life energy. Many people are experiencing some kind of concern about, health, emotional issues or relationships.

Read More

 

3 Ways to Stop Sabotaging Your Success

Let’s assume that you’ve identified your true purpose in life and you’re on your way to actualizing it. And then you fall off track. You realize that you have started to sabotage reaching your goals.

Read More

 

Is your Life Trying to Get Your Attention to Live More on Purpose?

Stress and burnout are common terms we hear and use today. But what are those feelings really trying to tell us?

Is something out of kilter or do you find less joy and meaning in your job or business? Are you just going through the motions of something that once excited and motivated you? 

Read More

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Peace and Love

Joyce