Joyce Dillon

Health, Wellness & Purpose Strategy Coach

Self-Care

How to Build Resilience During Difficult Times of Transition and Transformation

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At this point in the world, we must all realize that we’re living in very challenging times and yet at the same time, a very profound transformational period. It seems everybody I know is going through something on a personal level-illness, fatigue, sadness, depression. grief, and or loss.

In addition to your personal journeys, we are being threatened by, political breakdowns, mass shootings, devastating earthquakes, merciless wildfires, and severe storms- with mass flooding.

Humanity is in the throes of an ever-growing collective consciousness that wants to evolve, yet old ways of being and outdated modes of consciousness are struggling to hold on to the known.

So, the big question today, is ‘How do we build resilience so that we do not collapse under stress, grief, loss, and fear and at the same time keep our hearts open to others and take care of ourselves?’

Awakening is no longer a luxury or an idea. It is critical.

It is also critical that we deal with our own anger, feelings of separation, addictions, and fear.

Mayo Clinic reports that Resilience is the ability to adapt well and recover quickly after stress, adversity, trauma, or tragedy.

I believe I have developed strong resilience over my lifetime resulting from my childhood and the traumas I experienced as well as the transition tools and spiritual practices I have taught and engaged in over the years.

I have had losses that have taken me to the underworld of darkness, but I have always been able to rebound.

The eye of a hurricane is a place of calm, around which spins the storm. We become the eye when we pull ourselves out of the chaos and into the present moment.

Here are several ways that I recommend to pull yourself out of the storm and into the calm of the eye of the storm that will help you build resilience to deal with emotional and physical pain during these difficult times.

Five Daily Practices to Build Resilience

Five Daily Practices to Build Resilience

Mindful Awareness of Thoughts
Stop and experience what you are doing driving, doing the laundry, or walking. If you are thinking thoughts of the past or future bring your mind to the now. Focus on your heart, and breath, and come back into the awareness of the present moment to help regulate yourself.

Heart-Coherence Meditation
New research indicates that you do not need to meditate for long periods of time to have a positive effect. You do have to connect the breath to the heart and the brain. Start by sitting and relaxing for 5-15 minutes. Inhale from the heart to the head and exhale the breath from the head to the heart. When you connect the heart and the brain you develop less resistance to meditating.

Support Group
Join a spiritual, grief, walking, hiking, or meditation group with at least 4 people who come together live or remotely to support each other in moving through these difficult but transformational times. It is critical to have a support network that you can count on during these challenging times.
Walk and engage with Nature Walking outside allows your nervous system to calm your cognitive systems to rest and lift your mood. Sit under a tree, and explore what is around you-animals, plants, flowers, and rocks. Allow yourself to see and experience the beauty around you.

Gratitude
Start your morning by saying what you are grateful for. If you think you have nothing to be grateful for being grateful for your breath and that you woke up today. Gratitude for your life will change your life

Extreme Self-Care and Compassion
During periods of stress, we often fall back on old patterns of relating to ourselves and the world. We can be harsh and critical, and not care for our bodies. To build resilience we must support our body and mind to heal with healthy food, water, and exercise. You must care for yourself!

These are just a few of the ways to develop tools that help you become more resilient. How have you become more resilient? Let me know, I am always interested in learning what helps others.

The Importance of Extreme Self Care Starting Now and 2018

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Extreme self-care is not just basic self-care. Most of us do basic self-care, like going to the dentist, getting a vision exam, or visiting our primary care doctor for a yearly check-up.
Additionally, you might take a Yoga class, treat yourself to a monthly massage, or exercise daily. But there is much more to extreme self-care than these basic practices. It involves a wholistic mindset and advanced practices that nurture your overall well-being so that you can live the life you love now, and throughout the new year to come.

You may think that extreme self-care, especially during the busy holidays, sounds selfish and self-absorbed. You may say, “Why should I put myself at the top of my list, or focus on what I want when others’ needs come first?”

Well, during the past 15 years, I’ve coached hundreds of clients who have wanted to significantly change their lives. Many of them have been able to overcome obstacles and make dramatic changes in their lives.

From this experience, I have identified six of the most common obstacles that consistently prevent people from really enjoying excellent self-care so they can live the life they love.

 Here are these six obstacles:

  1. Your schedule does not reflect your priorities. You find yourself exhausted at the end of the day with very little time to do the things that are important to you.
  2.  You feel drained by certain people, negative environments, and the management of things. You have a long list of things to do, which seemingly is never completed. Certain types of places and people drain your energy, including family members and some friends who call you to complain.
  3. You have a job or career that may still support you financially, but no longer supports you spiritually. You don’t know how to make the change you need, so you continue working the same job year after year.
  4. You have no plan or vision for your life. You are living day by day and making no changes in your health, relationships or career. Your life is becoming dull and boring.
  5. You are missing a supportive community in your life. You feel isolated and disconnected from others who are like-minded, and who could be of great value to you.
  6. Your spiritual well-being gets lost in your busy life. You would like to spend more time in meditation, prayer, and/or yoga but your busy life keeps getting in your way.

Creating the fulfilling life you want takes courage and vision, and your commitment to your own extreme self-care.

I know this to be true, because I spent much of my mid-life living in New York City, working a full-time nursing job in the evening while developing a fashion and event business during the day. I frequently went to bed at 1 a.m. and got up at 7:00 a.m. I was exhausted most of the time, but I just kept going.

It took me years to slow down and learn to say “no” to overworking and attending events that weren’t important to me.

It has only been during the past eight years that I started to seriously integrate extreme self-care in my life and make myself my priority. That is why I am very passionate about this subject!

Hay House author and life coach Cheryl Richardson wrote a wonderful book, “The Art of Extreme Self-Care: Transform Your Life One Month at a Time.”

Cheryl says, “Enjoying a life of extreme self-care means living and working in a soul-nurturing environment, developing a greater appreciation for and connection with nature, doing work that provides an opportunity to express your greatest gifts and talents, and caring for your emotional, physical, and spiritual health in a way that’s aligned with who you are and what you most need.”

This is a challenging concept for most people!

Here are ways you can turn your life around one change at a time.

  1. Ask yourself, “what is showing up in my life, what is working and what needs to change? What is creating stress and unhappiness in my life?”
  2. Get clear on what you really want for your life. Get your priorities straight. Set new priorities that align with what is really important to you.
  3. Identify the old beliefs and patterns that are holding you back from living an empowered, healthy, and spiritual lifestyle.
  4. Hire a coach to help you be accountable for making change, and start your New Year by joining my 4-hour “Get Going – Jump Into 2018” workshop.
  5. Create a plan that will help you improve your health, nutrition, and well-being. If you have health issues, your health care must be one of your main priorities. Tell yourself the truth about the types of foods you are putting into your body, and how you are really treating your body, while expecting it to fuel and support you all day.
  6. Find a community of like-minded people to support, challenge and encourage you to be your best self. This is one of the most important things you can do to create and sustain your well-being.
  7. Increase your spiritual practice with meditation, prayer, and engaging in religious/spiritual community. Online courses offered by The Shift Network, Sounds True, Wisdom University, and many others are available to support you.

Making a decision to change your life begins by becoming aware that you deserve to live a better life, a healthier life, a more abundant life. You then can make a choice to live a life of extreme, fulfilling self-care!

Let go of the past. In 2018, do something different that moves your life forward this year. Let yourself dream, create a vision, make a plan and most importantly, take action!