Are you Living Life Without Regrets?


Regrets, we all have them — things said or done; things left unsaid or undone. Paths that weren’t followed; opportunities missed due to fear or insecurity.

Research shows that a large number of people have reported it was not what they have done but “what they did not do” that was their deepest regrets.

According to Bronnie Ware, a former palliative care nurse who wrote the book, “The Top Five Regrets of the Dying,” based on her conversations with the dying, the biggest, most commonly cited regrets at the end of life are — beginning with the most common regret of all:

  • One of the most frequently cited regrets at the end of life is not having the courage to be true to oneself but rather doing what others expected.
  • Another regret was not having the courage to express one’s feelings and emotions to people they loved or cared for deeply.
  • Other common regrets include: working too much, not staying in touch with friends, and taking life too seriously and allowing worries to diminish happiness.
  • Many men, at the end of life, say they regret missing out on family time because of excessive work.

Unfortunately, many people find out too late that happiness is an inside job—a choice, not a side effect of living any particular kind of life, and regret taking life too seriously and allowing worries to diminish their happiness.

What Do You Regret?

I don’t regret much that I have done in life. If I had not done what I did I don’t think I would have experienced all the wonderful opportunities and adventures in life that I did. I didn’t take the safe path of a secure job for most of my life. As a small business entrepreneur, your life is always up and down and you can find yourself living on the edge way too often.

For me, it is like what most people say it is not what I did it is what I did not do that I regret. I would still like to live in California by the ocean and to have a relationship with the right divine love partner for me. Fortunately, I can still work on those desires.

Here are a few suggestions that help to eliminate issues that trigger regret:

  • First and foremost, it is critical to heal your core wounds and to work on manifesting your life purpose. To me, this is the essential healing work for your life that is necessary so you can live a meaning life. It is very important to try and honor at least some of your dreams and passions along the way.
  • Secondly, simplify your lifestyle and making conscious choices along the way, it is possible to not need the income that you think you do so you don’t have to work so much.
  • Thirdly, live more in the moment. Eckhart Tolle writes that “Living In The Now” is a major component of happiness, and a significant way to grow in gratitude, both of which also have an impact our health and longevity.

I believe Your Life Is Your Own, Live It the Way You Want.

The take-home message here is this: If you’re currently doing, or avoiding doing something you know you’d regret if you only had weeks left to live, change course now. Don’t wait years or decades. Eventually, you’ll run out of time and will be left holding a bag of regrets.

Your life is your own — you’re the only one who can live it successfully, so follow your dreams and passions, and let go of unnecessary baggage and false limitations. At the end of your life, you’ll realize you don’t care about what other people think of you nearly as much as you believe today, and — if you’re like most — you’ll come to the realization that happiness is, in fact, an ever-present choice.

What do you regret? Have you been able to let go of those past thoughts? Let me know.

The Top 5 Ways to Build Resilience During Difficult Times

Photo by Alex Ibe on Unsplash

At this point in the world, we must all realize that we’re living in very challenging times and yet at the same time, a very profound transformational period. It seems everybody I know is going through something on a personal level-illness, fatigue, sadness, depression. grief, and or loss.

In addition to your personal journeys we are being threatened by, political breakdowns, mass shootings, devastating earthquakes, merciless wildfires, severe storms- with mass flooding.

Humanity is in the throes of an ever-growing collective consciousness that wants to evolve, yet old ways of being and outdated modes of consciousness are struggling to hold on to the known.

So, the big question today, is ‘How do we build resilience so that we do not collapse under stress, grief, loss, and fear and at the same time keep our hearts open to others and take care of ourselves?’

Awakening is no longer a luxury or an idea. It is critical.

It is also critical that we deal with our own anger, feelings of separation, addictions, and fear.

Mayo Clinic reports that Resilience is the ability to adapt well and recover quickly after stress, adversity, trauma or tragedy.

I believe I have developed fairly strong resilience over my lifetime resulting from my childhood and the traumas I experienced as well as the tools and spiritual practices I have taught and engaged in over the years.

I have had losses that have taken me to the underworld of darkness but I have always been able to rebound.

The eye of a hurricane is a place of calm, around which spins the storm. We become the eye when we pull ourselves out of the chaos and into the present moment.

Here are several ways that I recommend to pull yourself out of the storm and into the calm of the eye of the storm that will help you build resilience to deal with emotional and physical pain during these difficult times.

Photo by Jennifer Regnier on Unsplash

Five Daily Practices to Build Resilience

  1. Mindful Awareness of Thoughts 
    Stop and experience what you are doing-driving, doing the laundry, or walking. If you are thinking thoughts of the past or future bring your mind into the now. Focus on your heart, breath and come back into the awareness of what is around you.
  2. Heart-Brain Coherence Meditation
    New research indicates that you do not need to meditate for long periods of time to have a positive effect. You do have to connect the breath to the heart and the brain. Start by sitting and relaxing for 5-15 minutes. Inhale from the heart to the head and exhale the breath from the head to the heart. When you connect the heart and the brain you develop less resistance to meditate.
  3. Spiritual Support Group.
    Join or start a spiritual or a healthy living group with at least 4 people who come together live or remotely to support each other in moving through these difficult but transformational times.
  4. Gratitude
    Start your morning by saying what you are grateful for. If you think you have nothing to be grateful for being grateful for your breath and that you woke up today. Gratitude for your life will change your life.
  5. Extreme Self-Care and Compassion.
    During periods of stress, we often fall back on old patterns of relating to ourselves and the world. We can be harsh and critical, and not care for our body. To build resilience we must support our body and mind to heal with healthy food, water, and exercise. You must care for yourself!

These are just a few of the ways to develop tools that help you become more resilient. How have you become more resilient? Let me know, I am always interested in learning what helps others.

Say Yes to Your Life in 2018!

“If someone offers you an amazing opportunity to do something and you’re not sure you can do it, say yes. Then learn how to do it later.”
— Richard Branson

When was the last time you said ‘yes’ with confidence, excitement, and passion? In life, there are those of us who dare and those of us who try our best not to get ourselves into any situation that requires us to be uncomfortable in any way.

Saying ‘no thank you’ to new experiences is the easiest way out of learning anything from life that you do not already know.

It may sometimes be safe to say no, but it’s hardly ever a great learning experience.

Saying yes, to ideas, projects, and adventures can lead you down a path you would never be on if you do not take the chance to say Yes.

What are you willing to say “Yes” to in 2018?

Why do we not say yes to our life?

  1. We are terrified we will make a mistake. We would rather live small and safe. So many people never do anything out of the box. They never say yes, sometimes they say maybe but mainly they say no thanks. They go to the same place for vacation, socialize with the same people, eat in the same restaurants.
  2. We live a life for someone else, not ourselves.
    Most people follow a path in life they think is for themselves when they are really just living for the approval of their family or others.
    Research shows that many students choose to study a career path that is not their passion or purpose. It may be years later before they realize that their passion and gifts are not being shared with the world.
  3. We don’t believe we can have or deserve what we want.

We have a lifetime of unproductive, self-limiting thoughts and behaviors that unconsciously tells us no. We live in the past and repeat the same thoughts over and over. It is impossible to live the life of your dreams if you live in the past and focus on regrets.

Life is too short to not live for yourself. Your friends, family and business acquaintances may or may not accept the life you want to lead, but doing so is still what you must do if you want to be truly happy and live with a purpose.

“When we go to our Source, we activate the energy that reconnects us to our purpose.”
— Dr. Wayne W. Dyer

Joyce Dillon, RN, MN, BCC,
Visionary Life Purpose Coach,
Radio Host, Mind-Body Practitioner, Intuitive Painter

The Importance of Extreme Self Care Starting Now and 2018

Extreme self-care is not just basic self-care. Most of us do basic self-care, like going to the dentist, getting a vision exam, or visiting our primary care doctor for a yearly check-up.
Additionally, you might take a Yoga class, treat yourself to a monthly massage, or exercise daily. But there is much more to extreme self-care than these basic practices. It involves a wholistic mindset and advanced practices that nurture your overall well-being so that you can live the life you love now, and throughout the new year to come.

You may think that extreme self-care, especially during the busy holidays, sounds selfish and self-absorbed. You may say, “Why should I put myself at the top of my list, or focus on what I want when others’ needs come first?”

Well, during the past 15 years, I’ve coached hundreds of clients who have wanted to significantly change their lives. Many of them have been able to overcome obstacles and make dramatic changes in their lives.

From this experience, I have identified six of the most common obstacles that consistently prevent people from really enjoying excellent self-care so they can live the life they love.

 Here are these six obstacles:

  1. Your schedule does not reflect your priorities. You find yourself exhausted at the end of the day with very little time to do the things that are important to you.
  2.  You feel drained by certain people, negative environments, and the management of things. You have a long list of things to do, which seemingly is never completed. Certain types of places and people drain your energy, including family members and some friends who call you to complain.
  3. You have a job or career that may still support you financially, but no longer supports you spiritually. You don’t know how to make the change you need, so you continue working the same job year after year.
  4. You have no plan or vision for your life. You are living day by day and making no changes in your health, relationships or career. Your life is becoming dull and boring.
  5. You are missing a supportive community in your life. You feel isolated and disconnected from others who are like-minded, and who could be of great value to you.
  6. Your spiritual well-being gets lost in your busy life. You would like to spend more time in meditation, prayer, and/or yoga but your busy life keeps getting in your way.

Creating the fulfilling life you want takes courage and vision, and your commitment to your own extreme self-care.

I know this to be true, because I spent much of my mid-life living in New York City, working a full-time nursing job in the evening while developing a fashion and event business during the day. I frequently went to bed at 1 a.m. and got up at 7:00 a.m. I was exhausted most of the time, but I just kept going.

It took me years to slow down and learn to say “no” to overworking and attending events that weren’t important to me.

It has only been during the past eight years that I started to seriously integrate extreme self-care in my life and make myself my priority. That is why I am very passionate about this subject!

Hay House author and life coach Cheryl Richardson wrote a wonderful book, “The Art of Extreme Self-Care: Transform Your Life One Month at a Time.”

Cheryl says, “Enjoying a life of extreme self-care means living and working in a soul-nurturing environment, developing a greater appreciation for and connection with nature, doing work that provides an opportunity to express your greatest gifts and talents, and caring for your emotional, physical, and spiritual health in a way that’s aligned with who you are and what you most need.”

This is a challenging concept for most people!

Here are ways you can turn your life around one change at a time.

  1. Ask yourself, “what is showing up in my life, what is working and what needs to change? What is creating stress and unhappiness in my life?”
  2. Get clear on what you really want for your life. Get your priorities straight. Set new priorities that align with what is really important to you.
  3. Identify the old beliefs and patterns that are holding you back from living an empowered, healthy, and spiritual lifestyle.
  4. Hire a coach to help you be accountable for making change, and start your New Year by joining my 4-hour “Get Going – Jump Into 2018” workshop.
  5. Create a plan that will help you improve your health, nutrition, and well-being. If you have health issues, your health care must be one of your main priorities. Tell yourself the truth about the types of foods you are putting into your body, and how you are really treating your body, while expecting it to fuel and support you all day.
  6. Find a community of like-minded people to support, challenge and encourage you to be your best self. This is one of the most important things you can do to create and sustain your well-being.
  7. Increase your spiritual practice with meditation, prayer, and engaging in religious/spiritual community. Online courses offered by The Shift Network, Sounds True, Wisdom University, and many others are available to support you.

Making a decision to change your life begins by becoming aware that you deserve to live a better life, a healthier life, a more abundant life. You then can make a choice to live a life of extreme, fulfilling self-care!

Let go of the past. In 2018, do something different that moves your life forward this year. Let yourself dream, create a vision, make a plan and most importantly, take action!

Change Your Brain by Changing Your Energy

Author Jack Canfield says, “If you go to the core of most of our problems, it’s the way we think.” Our old ways of thinking often prohibit us from understanding the truth of a situation, or exploring more options for resolving an emotional issue.

Your beliefs, thoughts and lifestyle habits including food choices, exercise, sleep patterns, stress, energy management, work environments and spiritual practices all contribute to the way you are currently living, or creating the life you desire.

I recently had the privilege to see Dr. Joe Dispenza, author, and teacher of neuroscience and human potential in his workshop entitled, Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself.

Dr. Joe said “no body changes until you change your energy.

You have to become greater than your body, your environment and time.”

You can’t make a change in your life while in the same energy vibration that the problem, illness or situation was created in.

You must elevate your thoughts, and emotions, to align with your powerful visions to create a different outcome.

Eliminating negative thinking is a critical step for manifesting what you desire. If your thoughts and beliefs are not aligned in a high vibration, it will be difficult to create the aspects of your life that you desire.

Make a list of your challenges or limiting beliefs that may stand in the way of achieving your goals.

Acknowledging your challenges is the first step to dissolving them. Each challenge then becomes the basis for designing your positive intentions, thoughts, beliefs and action steps.

If you are not happy with the results in your life you have the power to choose to think different thoughts that will create a different outcome.

Action Steps:

  1. Become aware of the recurrent thoughts about which you often think. Note how often you rehash a conversation that took place weeks or even years ago, or how often you imagine negative, fearful outcomes. Catch yourself in this thought and immediately disrupt it and deny it. State out loud, “I don’t believe in this anymore.” Take control to redirect your chronic thoughts!
  2. Identify areas in your life where you feel out of balance. Imbalance becomes obvious when certain parts of our selves begin screaming for our attention. If we get sick, we may have been neglecting our body’s needs. Take note of the imbalance, then let go of all the distractions that keep you from nurturing whatever you know you’ve neglected, and address it.
  3. Be willing to start a daily meditation practice which supports you to learn how to better manage your thoughts. Use often the powerful “I AM” statements: “I am capable. I am confident. I am courageous. I am awesome.” Catch yourself every time you hear a negative thought like, “I can’t” or “I don’t” or “I won’t” and shift gears to their polar opposites: “I can.” “I do.” “I will.” Affirm yourself and free yourself!

This is your life do you really want to spend most of it living in the past?